"In a way I still love him," I replied."He kept a picture of you in his tank," his father said."Oh," I said, feeling awkward."He said it was his good luck charm," his father continued."I wish it had worked." He was a good boy," his mother told me.I was silent. I didn't want to speak ill of the dead, especially tothose I thought had deaf ears."By the time he told me about the Blaus it was too late," his fatherexplained. "I couldn't do anything about it. I'm sorry to tell youthis, but they are also dead."I cried. Helmut finally did what I asked. Maybe there was love in himafter all. I started again to feel the love I had for Helmut andthrough that love my loss."Would you come in our car?" his mother asked me.I shook my head "yes." It was all I could do at that moment, as theemotions overcame me.The rest of the funeral and burial I was able to properly mourn forHelmut, whom I realized was my Helmut after all. After the short burialservices I went with Helmut's parents back to their home. Without any concerns about whether something was right or wrong. Or worrying about how her body looked in a particular position. He could count on one hand the number of times she had truly allowed herself to enjoy sex, without any worry. But when she had, the sex was earth-shattering. And he could remember every detail.She jolted him from one such memory when she walked into their bedroom and closed the door. She acknowledged that she had been so caught up in the events next door that she neglected to ask about his day.He began with a synopsis of his day, and was caught off-guard when she moved closer to him as he talked. She began running her hands along his hips and down to his thighs, all the while listening to his story. She had never been one to actively pursue sex, so this was a refreshing change for Sean, who was having a hard time focusing his thoughts.She began kissing his bare shoulders, and moved her hands to the front of his thighs. She was ever so close to feeling his.
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